It is way too difficult to understand myself. Hmmm.
Anyway, things didn't went really well yesterday. Most probably I'll get retained. I was sooo close to getting promoted, 就差那么一点。Haha I feel so lame right now. Not gonna let myself cry or anything because I know that I don't have any fucking right to since I brought this upon myself by not studying. I feel really bad though when people try to cheer me up and stuff - I don't deserve it, seriously. It's not like I've worked my butt off like everyone else, what do I have to complain? Last minute revisions aren't gonna give me any credits, I know. Oh the horror, who else but me study for some subjects for only ONE FREAKING DAY before taking the paper?
Even so, I think I have the right to at least complain about one thing. My human geog paper's marks. I failed. Quite badly done. And believe it or not, I studied the most for it, more than other papers - and this is what I get? I guess the only satisfying paper I did for the entire promos is my physical geography paper, surprisingly. My head has been in the clouds for the whole year for physical geog stuff, I don't get anything at all and I studied at the very, very last minute (3 to 4 hours perhaps? for an entire year worth of information) and yet I scored quite well for it. Doesn't make any sense but oh well. :\
SO. THAT'S ALL. I only have the right to complain about human geog paper, as for the other failures, it was all my fault that I didn't manage to do well. To score well I should have been consistent throughout the year, studying at the very last minute isn't going to work. Yep I knew that. But I'm such a slob that I didn't bother to be consistent.
Being an emotional person I often cry over all those slightly sad scenes in drama but I'm careful not to cry over this. Yep I had teared up a little little little bit at some point but it was because everyone keep consoling me and I feel so touched because I truly don't deserve all these. Other than that, I will make sure I don't cry over getting retained or anything. It's really lame to cry over milk that you've spilled yourself, isn't it? I will stay strong, people, and you guys have to stay strong too :)
Getting kinda frustrated though, what should I do next? That's the problem.