hi this is a personal blog and i update it whenever i want, whenever i have things to blog about.

a pokemon master. love good food, design and singing. can be kinda dramatic at times [inserts lots of coughing]

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Friday, June 27, 2014 7:25 AM
Update #541

I hate feeling stressed. I know it's stupid but still. At the age of 20 currently I have no idea what I'm doing with my life and I don't really have the motivation for anything that doesn't interest me. I feel so lazy. I don't really have a goal in life. I'm jealous of people who have dreams and would sacrifice almost anything to achieve their goals while I'm still standing at the starting line of the race, flustered and confused.

Everything I'm doing right now are things that are supposed to be "right", things the society and my mum think I should be doing. But are these what I want? What do I want? None of the things I'm doing is making me happy. In fact I feel like I'm losing more of myself these days. I have no idea what I'm doing anymore. I'm just here, barely hanging onto the edge of the cliff. Deep down I feel so upset. I want to cry. I'm so stressed my stomach's in knots 24/7.

Work, education, the pressure to get better, responsibility. There's no running away from growing up. I just wish I can find my way soon and handle the stress and be happy idk.

But right now I just wanna puke