hi this is a personal blog and i update it whenever i want, whenever i have things to blog about.

a pokemon master. love good food, design and singing. can be kinda dramatic at times [inserts lots of coughing]

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Tuesday, December 7, 2010 7:39 AM
You will never get to be as young as you are today ever again

FFFFFU. I'm currently not in a good mood now. I have to BLOG.
Okay since all those stuff that I'll be typing later won't be good, I'm warning you guys - STOP reading if you can't stand this sort of anger. I'll just say yeah, I'm always blogging about emotional stuff on impulse. These days I never really blog about all those emo craps is because my anger actually subsided before I have the chance to get my fingers on the keyboard to actually REALLY blog.

First. Okay I'm not exactly only angry or wth, there's like a mixture of fucked up feeling (sorry for the using of vulgarities but there are some moments that we can't help it but have to use it) I'm feeling erm, maybe kinda upset too. Was sms-ing Qiaofen just now and she told me that she had gone out with her new colleague today. It kinda upset me because it made me start wondering, why do people can make friends during work but I can't? Now maybe some of you noticed that I never really blog about my work except for the first day. You guys may think that working at some gift shop like Precious Thots will be easy, well it isn't that bad, but all the colleagues were like already on good terms when I started work there and they're like always freaking talking and chatting away while I hide in one corner -.- I had talked about this with a few friends of mine, about how boring it is during work, and they're always telling me to mingle, to try to get to know my colleagues. Gah I really want to! But I'm just not the out-going type who can talk and make friends with anyone anywhere. It's not like I'm not sociable either, it's just that I'm too shy. Most of the time. It's never easy for me to make friends, I'm always the one to hang around, too afraid to open my mouth and chat with others. Somehow it's kinda sad to me luh, I really wants to be the kind who can easily talk to people and make making friends as easy as breathing (somebody's coming to my mind right now, LOL). Sigh, it's always the same. Okay so I have quite a number of cyber friends, but it's totally different, making cyber friends is so much easier than making real-life friends. You don't have to actually have the courage to start talking to people, you only have to say something like "hi, how are you" to start up a convo which actually to making friends online (I think?) I seriously wonder if I'll actually become the really sociable kind in the future. (Okay now I'm re-reading this paragraph I feel silly cuz after typing all these I had calm down, peeeeeace :D)

Second. since I was already upset and Pearlie was like keep on commenting on how Dongho sucks (he doesn't, fyi) on my tagboard, I kinda burst - well if she's talking about how Key sucks my reaction might have been worse. I just don't get how people just don't like some particular idol because the people that they don't like likes that idol. It pisses me off. Well, just to say I'm sorry for the vulgarity on P's tagboard but I'm really upset with what she had said.

Third. This will be a confession (I guess). I'm feeling bored because I really don't like like any guys right now so I'm pretending that I still likes you. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA wtf is with me. It's really difficult to understand me, because I don't understand myself too, like, really. -__-

Fourth. I had always admire that those who dares to go after their dreams. I just don't know why I never really do. I love singing, very much. If I'm really the ambitious kind I should have applied for singing classes and train myself etc etc right? I just feels crazy sometimes and if I would to tell my mum that she'll probably tells me that I'm just being silly and should focus on my studies. I do see people in my school volunteering to perform when there's an event or what and I do feel that it's really cool. But I never have the courage to do the same I guess. I hate myself for it:( I'm useless, I dare to dream, but I won't dare to chase after my dreams. Kinda dumb huh.

Fifth. OH CRAP I FORGOT WHY I'M UPSET AND ANGRY OVER ALREADY HAHAHAHAHAHA. Damn. I'm really mad. Luckily I recover after a few paragraphs, won't wanna drone on and on about craps like this. I always do have emotional posts (outburst?) like this one but when I read them after a week or so I'll feel that I'm being extremely childish then, LOL. I always feels that people are being childish when they get angry over the smallest stuff, but I always feels that I'm the right one when I get angry over stuff. But then whenever I reads back on past entries about how I had been, I'll feel really dumb and think that I'm just over-reacting. Why!? OMG I'm really weird *faint*

Kk I guess that's all :D Gonna go out to Sentosa tomorrow bye guys!