hi this is a personal blog and i update it whenever i want, whenever i have things to blog about.

a pokemon master. love good food, design and singing. can be kinda dramatic at times [inserts lots of coughing]

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Monday, April 18, 2011 5:29 AM
Ignorance is bliss

OMG MY PREVIOUS POST IS COMPLETELY RETARDED.
THERE REALLY IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY MIND YESTERDAY NIGHT, SO PLEASE IGNORE -.-

I'm seriously going bonkers soon. Yes, it's Monday! Monday is always bad, why why why? Today started out especially sucky for me, didn't pack my bag the previous night and so I was totally rushing to get all my stuff, only found my wallet and ezlink card after what seemed to be ten thousand years later. Got out of house then and it was raining freaking heavily outside that I almost got drenched, argh. Missed two buses because of selfish people who just don't wanna move into the back of the bus and hence most of the passengers were gathering at the front part of the bus, clogging up the door area and many people who were waiting to board the bus couldn't get in. PSSSHHHHHHHHHH I was fuming mad.
I was surprised that I wasn't late, ya know. Everything went better than expected, ha! :)
Anyway, apparently my studies are quite bad these days and due to the fact that I totally flunk my MSA my CT actually brought up the choice of dropping out of school to me. Yay me. I felt really terrible and ashamed then but I still have to paste a fake smile on my face to pretend that *yay, I'm fine* and nod to whatever she said. Actually I feel that if I had studied, I would have scored sooo much better and won't be in this fucked up state right now. Yea.. all except for my econs. Anybody taking econs here? Mine's so screwed up that I can't even get the basics - I've always hate money and "financy" stuff actually, they never fail to kill my brain cells. Sigh. Guess I'll have to read through all my stuff once more and ask for help..? I rarely ask for help, if any of you actually notice before. I guess I'm the kind of thick-skinned type who just want to be seen as the independent person who can who everything by herself without anyone. Why am I so stubborn :(
Okay this is me here telling everyone that I'M GONNA BUCK UP AND PUT IN MORE EFFORT IN MY STUDIES. I SWEAR KAYYYZXC.
:)
Anyway, screw Project Work. It's like, the main reason why I regret going JC (including taking H2 econs - I must be insane then when I chose my subjects) Yea so here I am, with all my complainings, blah blah blah, boring isn't it.
So I wonder, will I be any happier if I've gone to poly?
I don't know, and I guess nobody will know.. ARGH I SHOULD STOP THINKING AND JUST FOCUS ON MY STUDIES. But still - SCREW YOU PW I HATE DOING RESEARCH FOR PI GDI!!!@#$

On a happier note, happy 17th birthday to Magdelene! :D

I feel so fake talking to you pretending that everything is okay as if I have no idea what you did and no idea what is going on. You didn't know that I knew, so I guess it's just me feeling awkward talking to you? But well, I'm glad that I know the truth, it's better knowing it rather than just sitting there all stupid not knowing what you're actually doing.
I feel guilty for knowing it.. I shouldn't know it. But now that I know about it, I can't help but view you as a.. I don't know, rival? Competitor? Well, it doesn't even matter anymore anyway. Gah.

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