Sometimes I seriously don't know what to do with my life anymore. Yes yes yes I know I probably have a better life than many out there and I should appreciate it but for now I just can't, I feel so lousy and fucked up and emo and drunk and I have absolutely what's wrong with my sudden mood swing this time round, I'm pretty sure that nothing triggered it.. oh yea maybe it's due to me being sick. Yep I recovered on the weekends and on it's finally Monday and I'm back to not feeling well, how awesome is this ikr. Totally killing me argh. Terrible headache too, I think it's cuz there's a screw loose somewhere in my head, hence causing me to behave this way.
You can't blame me while I'm still trying to appreciate life. :'(
I'm constantly asking "why" in life and still don't really get things ya know. I know there isn't any right or wrong, like there isn't anything that's completely black or completely white in life, but I still get confused. Like, how life rush by sometimes and totally caught me off-guard and the next thing I know the strong current of life has already knocked me down without me realizing it at all. Why does this happen? Why does that happen? Is it supposed to be good or bad? Life definitely has my head spinning round and round.
Okay I might not be making a single sense here.. since I'm not exactly in the right state of mind now, sigh. PSSSSHHH I'm so weird!
How do you know what is love? If you think about somebody all the time, every single hour, minute and even seconds of your so-ever precious life - does it mean that you love them? It could be a pure liking only, or what they call, infatuation (can't believe I'm actually using this word because I think it sounds rather, idk, cheesy?) I read off Tumblr that love, is without any reason at all, you won't know why you love that person, because you just do. But why? How do they know that it's not due to some hormones thingy at work? Does love even exist? What about jealousy? Why do we even get jealous?
Sometimes I'm just lying on bed, feeling freaking tired and I was like, won't be nice if you're here beside me now, hands wrap around me, telling me that everything's gonna be fine and just there, giving me a sense of security and motivation? Yea I do sound lovesick, I know. But how can you call me lovesick when there isn't any proper definition for love? Now back to the main question, what exactly is love?
Love, love, and love. Don't you wish you know too? Love and life - they're both horrible because I just can't figure them out, gah.
AND. It seems like everytime I try to make a point on my blog I always end up contradicting myself, how weird. This proves that nothing's really right or wrong, hmmm.
I seriously am weird, ha.. Monday tomorrow.