hi this is a personal blog and i update it whenever i want, whenever i have things to blog about.

a pokemon master. love good food, design and singing. can be kinda dramatic at times [inserts lots of coughing]

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Saturday, June 18, 2011 2:57 AM
When all the hell break loose

For once, there won't be any pictures in my post. Heh. I don't know, I'm not really in the mood to blog about all those nicey stuff that makes me seem so happy all the time. Of course everyone have their ups and downs, duh, I'm not always happy. In fact I get mood swings more than often (because I'm too awesome LMAO). Didn't blog for two days just because I was too lazy and my life is just full of boring shits and  I'm so sorry that I'm posting this boring shit, so you guys can choose whether to read it or not :)
I have no idea what happened to me the day before. Somehow I just started to panic about my life - it's not like it's the first time the realization of me screwing up my life hits me right in the head. But yea. Argh idek what the hell I'm blabbering about right now. Just trying to get those thoughts that has been in my head swirling round and round  for the past few days. I feel like a confused kid. Oh wait. Yea maybe I'm really just a confused KID.
I don't know why, but I always have the habit of putting up with everything first until the pressure is at its maximum and I'll finally explode while everyone else will be like, whutthehell happened to her LOL. I'm such a joke, awesome. Don't really have a place for me to rant too, my blog's not really personal anymore anyway an my tumblr mostly for reblogging, people tend to unfollow you when you rant too much *roll eyes* Oh wait I kinda realize I'm talking crap again. Paragraphing doesn't really matter, I guess, my sentences don't even link, tsk. AND RIGHT NOW I'M PISSED BECAUSE OF MY KEYBOARD ARGH ARGH ARGH I KEEP HAVING TYPOS EVEN THOUGH I'M TYPING PROPERLY. HEY KEYBOARD YOU'RE GETTING ON MY NERVES. I actually spent lots of hell time typing all this bullshit because I have to keep correcting all those typos /sigh
Anyway. I seriously hate seeing people sad. Woah I just make myself sound so *NICE* Of course I'm not nice! Sure, I'm always trying to be there for people who I care about (if you don't matter to me, I won't even be giving a damn to your problems, heh) and I feel satisfied and happy when I managed to cheer people up. BUT sometimes, SOME people just choose to turn a deaf ear to everything I said after I sent them like, thousands of long long looooooong text messages cheering them up. Eh seriously, I DO care, why can't you just listen to what I have to say instead of trying to rebut me everytime? We are not having a debate hello, I'm just trying to help a friend. Some of you seriously piss me off.
Well idk if the people who I'm talking about's gonna read this or not. Like BLAH, stop talking about dying, this is a FUCKING BEAUTIFUL LIFE, you think dying will end everything? Every single obstacle is beautiful and they exist to help you mature and all those shits, not make you die. If these obstacles are causing you to think lightly of your life, then BULLSHIT, YOUR LIFE IS JUST FUCKING BULLSHIT. YOU LIVE FOR YOURSELF, NOT OTHER PEOPLE HELLO. Stop talking about dying, are you really that weak to the extent of wanting to die? I have no idea just what some of you have in your mind, tsk. Even those people who have depression are FIGHTING to live and here you are, willing to give up your life so ever easily? Think again, please.
Sorry for sounding so blunt. Yikes I swear I'm not that scary usually. (yea right LMAO) I'm just being so vulgar-ish and pissed after a long time of pressure. I spend my time helping you guys cheer up, I'm always here for my friends and yet some of you still complain that nobody's ever there for you? HUH LIKE, WHUT AM I THEN? DUST? That thought makes me feel like banging my head on the wall, tsk. Okay luh, unless you seriously don't want to be cheered up, you can always ask me to shut up. If you do, I won't hesitate to leave then. Yes, I'll be there for almost anyone, but the moment you find me irritating, you can tell me freely, I will stop immediately.

And of course, I have my own problem too. I'm still a kid (below 18 :P) HAHAHA OF COURSE I'M STILL A KID. What is love? Idek know anymore. Google dictionary tells me that it's the feeling of a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone). http://www.love-sessions.com/whatislove.htm told me that love is patient, love is kind. It has no envy, nor it boasts itself and it is never proud. It rejoices over the evil and is the truth seeker. Love protects; preserves and hopes for the positive aspect of life. Always stand steadfast in love, not fall into it. It is like the dream of your matter of affection coming true. (no I don't visit this kind of website, I was just randomly googling, LOL) The way the website describe love, it sounds unbelievable and unrealistic. Seriously, does love really exist? Most of us are just too greedy for our own good anyway, will we even dare to love? Maybe we're just too naive.
Love hurts, they said. It hurts, does that mean it's love? Because it's sucking the life out of me. I seriously have no idea anymore. I'm so disgusted. I hate how I can only give other advice, but not when it comes to myself. I never fail to screw up everything, argh.